This happened a couple of days after the supermarket incident. This time it was at Excelsior Cafe near my office. I don’t particularly like that place but it’s the only one that is on my way to work that has decent coffee and food I can eat for breakfast. However, the service is just horrible. I think the main reason is because they only hire young students who are looking for a part time job, therefore resulting in poor service where they do everything by the book. This isn’t that uncommon in Japan but it creates serious problems when it comes to flexibility and handling less common situations (like the supermarket incident) and customer service.

This said, this wasn’t the problem this time. Actually, I still haven’t figured what the problem was, and again, it was not a language problem, I assure you.

Let me tell you the story.

As always, I got to the counter and there stands a girl with a nice smile who just finished taking the previous customer’s order.

- « Would you like to take out sir? »

As usual, I order the same thing the exact same way.

- « Yes, I would like the Morning Set with Darjeeling tea please. »

- « Of course. And what would you like to drink? »

I’m a little surprised thinking « didn’t I just tell you??? »

- « Uuuh Darjeeling tea please. »

- « Excuse me sir, I didn’t get that. »

(Maybe it’s noisy in here)

- « Oh Darjeeling tea please. »

She looks at me puzzled, so I figured maybe Darjeeling tea doesn’t come with the set anymore. I look down at the menu and start looking for anything else that is included in the set and see that they still have it.

I point at the choices of tea and ask:

- « Doesn’t tea come with the sandwich anymore? »

- « Yes it does. »

- « Oh good. All right. I would like a cup of tea… DARJEELING please. »

- « Of course. »

I finally succeed ordering my breakfast and she tells me to wait on the side. While I was waiting, a lot of things went through my mind. « this was the second time in one week and in two different places that people didn’t understand what I was saying », « did I say it wrong?, « is she new? »,  « is it that noisy in here? », « maybe I shouldn’t wear my earphones when I order » etc.

I watch what she is doing and it seems that she is panicking a little. She is talking to her manager asking for guidance.

I have a bad feeling.

After a couple of minutes, she comes to me and asks:

- « I’m sorry sir, what kind of tea would you like? »

(There it is!)

- « I would like DARJEELING tea, please », I answer patiently.

Her expression still says « I don’t get it ».

- « We have three kinds of tea. Darjeeling, Earl Grey and Assam. »

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I try to stay calm and asked one more time.

-  » I would like DARJEELING tea please. »

She finally looks like she got it and prepares it.

Few seconds later she comes back and asks:

-  » Sir, would you like me to put the tea bag in the hot water? »

(Do I really look like I give a rat’s ass?)

-  » Sure, whatever. As long as I can drink it. »

I still have a bad feeling. You know, the one that tells you it’s not over yet?

She comes back with the bag and hands it to me, her hands shaking.

(Am I that scary? Did I put too much pressure on her like a French guy?)

- « Here you go sir. The Morning Set with Darjeeling tea. Thank you for your patience. »

- « Thank YOU. »

As I leave the cafe, that bad feeling goes down my spine again.

I check inside the bag to find out that the sandwich is missing. I run back into the cafe to ask for my sandwich. Another staff hands it to me apologizing.

I go back to my office thinking that was quite impressive even for Japan.

I sit down, take off the little sticker they put on the lid and take a sip, but nothing goes down my throat. I look again at the lid. The girl accidently put TWO lids on it. I also usually take out the tea bag before it gets too strong but she dumped the whole thing in the cup and forgot to leave the little string hang out.

In total I must have said « Darjeeling tea » at least 10 times that morning. I’m actually tired of writing it.

All of this just to tell you once again, that communication is NOT something Japanese are good at regardless of the language and how well you speak it.

Even worth, one of my dearest friends came to Japan and needed to get his bicycle tires pumped. He went to the nearest garage that a friend recommended him. He doesn’t speak Japanese at all but with gestures and by showing the bicycle he was able to be understood. He calls me and tells me that it had been 30 minutes since he asked the staff and that no one had come to do it. So he asks me to talk to the guy directly and make sure he understood the request. I talk to the guy just to find out that they don’t offer such service. It was winter and my friend was freezing his ass waiting for nothing outside. It pissed me off. The guy basically was ignoring my friend and just waited it out for him to leave eventually instead of trying to tell him it was not possible.

My friends often ask me if it’s because their accent sucks or because they didn’t use a sentence correctly. I mean how hard can it be to distinguish « orange juice kudasai » and « orenji juusu kudasai »?

Rest assured my friends, how well you speak Japanese has nothing to do with it. And I mean NOTHING.

I went to the supermarket today to buy some groceries. I have a card which allows me to save points everytime I buy something there. I don’t even need it because the number of points you get each time is just ridiculous and it doesn’t even offer interesting discounts. Anyways, the cashier tells me it comes to ￥1,786. I made the mistake to put down my card first and then the bills on top of it. The woman asks me if I have a card, I say yes and point at it. She picks up the bills gives me the change and realizes that the card was under the bills. See, normally they take your card first and then they charge you. She apologizes and tells me she can add the points afterwards. I tell her politely that it’s okay because it’s only 3 ridiculous points (which comes to ￥３）and that I don’t need them. She says it will take only a second.

Now I’m in trouble.

Everyone knows that when a store tells you that, it will take a lot more time than what they tell you, especially when it comes to magnetic cards.

She wants to do her job right so I let her, but then she calls the manager. I tell her that it’s not a big deal, that they shouldn’t go through so much trouble just for 3 points I don’t even want. The manager tells me it will only take a few seconds. Which means a few minutes.

Now I’m in real trouble.

They start arguing about the steps to take. The cashier asks me if I have some time to spare. I tell her again that I don’t want the points and that people are waiting behind. At that point I’m thinking « if they had listened to me the first time, I would be on the bus on my way home already ». That’s when the manager pulls out a manual out of her pocket.

Now I’m in a black hole.

I got sucked in it, and I can’t get out. No matter what I say, they want to put the points on my card. I felt like Mickey Rourke taking the elevator down to Hell in Angel Heart. I asked them what language I was speaking to them and of course they gave me that empty look they do so well when they don’t know what to do or say.

So, just to tell you my dear friends, you could speak Japanese as perfect as a native and you still won’t get the message through because they JUST DON’T LISTEN! Communication is a real pain in the ass out here. So don’t hesitate to confront them and put pressure on them whenever this kind of thing happens. They have to learn a lesson or two.

I love reading. Especially when you can learn something from a book. However I hate studying. School was torture for me. But when a teacher was able to teach us through fun, I was in all the way. Michael Crichton was such an author. I come from a scientific background, so learning about science is part of my everyday life. His books are perfect for me because he himself studied medicine. Therefore his books are often based on recent scientific research or actual facts and it sometimes even taught you about history, like in Timeline. Often sci-fi books are based on pure imagination, but I knew that I could believe in Michael Crichton’s books because he was a scientist. I always felt a lot more knowledgeable after reading one of his books.

His books often raised questions about what can humans control or not through science. It is quite clear in his stories that Nature can’t be tempered with. Mother Nature’s scale is too big for us puny humans to try and control it.

His stories are original and also very well told which is probably why most of his novels were adapted on screen. To name a few there was Jurassic Park, The 13th Warrior, Congo, Sphere and Disclosure. He was also the creator of the hit TV series ER (which made George Clooney popular). The show is in its 15th and final season.

The movies weren’t always successful but as I am a natural born movie fan, I still dig them. The problem is not the author. It’s the producers and the fact that anything that has to do with science is stripped from the script. But that is another matter all together so I’ll write about that in a future post.

Remember, Jurassic Park revolutionised CG as much as Terminator 2 did. We were able to see dinosaurs on screen that didn’t look like frame to frame papier-mache. It even had 2 sequels and I hear a fourth one is on the way. It’s also the movie during which I kissed a girl for the very first time (that summer was awesome!). I know, it’s weird. There’s actually no romantic scenes in it. What can I tell you. I scored big time. It would have made more sense if it was during the hot scene between Demi Moore and Michael Douglas in Disclosure but that’s none of your business.

Michael was also responsible for creating cool characters such as Ian Malcom. It came out great on screen. My favorite scene in Jurassic Park is when Ian Malcom, the coolest mathematician who walked the earth (played by Jeff Goldblum) explains Chaos Theory to the other characters. That alone made me want to study Chaos Theory and Fractals. Unfortunately, studies weren’t advanced enough so it wasn’t taught in my university. However, I passed an exam thanks to his books.

If you haven’t read any of his books, and if you are interested in science I strongly recommend you to. Who knows, you might get addicted to science. You won’t spend money on movies or documentaries like the Inconvenient Truth anymore because they will sound ridiculous.

Michael was born in 1942. Needless to say that his short life was very successful and lucrative. He is my hero as he has touched and revolutionised different areas that I truly love. I will miss him from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you Michael for showing me that anything is possible in a world where prejudice is everywhere and for entertaining us for the past 30 years.

I went, I saw and I was conquered. Twice! And I want to see it again!

Everybody agrees. The Dark Knight is an awesome movie. It’s not just an average super hero movie where gadgets and special effects take over. It’s a master piece supported by everything else. It goes way beyond. You just stay breathless by the way the movie is constructed. Now, for those of you who haven’t seen it, I can assure you, you won’t be disappointed. It’s really what people say, even better. To tell you the truth I loved it even more the second time, just like good aging wine (and I don’t even drink!).

Everything is great. The way the plot is built, the dialogues (I love movies with great lines!), the camera shots, the music (I listen to the soundtrack everyday on my iPod!), the story, the action scenes and let’s not forget…the acting! But I’ll come back to that later.

It’s rare to see such movies where every character has a purpose and where every single dialogue and action has a connection somewhere in the movie. You really have to watch it twice to « see » everything. Just like the Joker, as he says « Do I look like a guy with a plan? », the movie is quite unpredictable. But everything makes sense at the end. It’s a 2h40 movie and I didn’t feel time because there’s always something happening on the screen.

It’s dark. As Gotham’s « White Knight » DA Harvey Dent (amazing Aaron Eckhart) says « The night is darkest just before the dawn ». The movie starts dark and it keeps becoming darker and darker throughout the movie. Not much blood (actually none that I recall), just danger. You just feel this impending doom and chaos lurking from the start. It owns you at one point. Some people felt uncomfortable. The music is partly responsible for that too. Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard did a great job. It’s the continuity of Batman Begins.

All the characters are wonderful, and the acting is excellent, but needless to say, the movie is the Joker. Or should I say the Joker is the movie. Either way, this character, played wonderfully by Heath Ledger, is the perfect vilain. « This town deserves a better class of criminal… and I’m gonna give it to them » he says in the movie. And that’s exactly what he is. Never before, since probably Hannibal Lecter (sorry, « Doctor »!), has the phrase « there’s a fine line between genius and insanity » been so true, so real on screen. Heath has taken this character to the next level. I’m not saying this because he passed away. You can’t compare it to Jack Nicholson’s Joker either. That Joker was perfect in a Tim Burton movie. This is a different Batman, you need a different Joker. The gestures, the voice, the lip licking, and of course the laughter and the insanity (or genius??), everything works. Heath probably had trouble coming back to reality after the movie. Actor’s say they are a little schizophrenic themselves, especially for some roles like this one. But man, what an act.

This is what I found on imdb.com:

« To prepare for his role as the Joker, Heath Ledger lived alone in a hotel room for a month, formulating the character’s psychology, posture and voice (the last one he found most difficult to do). He started a diary, in which he wrote the Joker’s thoughts and feelings to guide himself during his performance. He was also given Alan Moore‘s comic « Batman: The Killing Joke » and « Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth » to read. Ledger also took inspiration from A Clockwork Orange (1971)’s Alex and Sid Vicious. »

It’s a shame we won’t see more of him. But then again, If he lived he might not have endured the pressure of the critics or the excessive stardom. In some way, I think it was God’s way to « save him » from that insanity, after all that is Hollywood. He achieved Greatness and that’s all that counts, this movie was his life’s work. People will remember him for ever. He left his mark indefinitely. I was actually crying during the movie, both times. There’s something about the Joker that is disturbing, you can’t quite tell what it is, but it’s there and it made me cry tears of admiration and respect for the actor.

I also loved Michael Caine as Alfred Pennyworth, the faithful butler to multi-billionaire Bruce Wayne aka Batman. He is Batman’s conscience. The way he describes the Joker made me think of several things. But in particular I thought « The Joker exists in real life ». He is the darkness that some people have inside of them. He says to Bruce  » You squeezed them (the criminals of Gotham), you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand ». I think that’s what happened in Germany during WWII. Germany was in a terrible situation, poor and desperate and they had no other choice than to turn to Adolf Hitler. Then followed chaos. Mental note: this is NOT an accusation of any kind. Just sheer observation of the two situations.

I know, I put a lot of quotes in this post but that’s how much everything is connected. Even to this blog. You can’t resist this. You can’t fight it either. Let it in. Enjoy. If I write more I’m afraid I’ll give it all away. I told you too much already. See it for yourself. It’s « worth » every « penny » (« And I thought my jokes were bad »).

Mister Nolan, « You’ve changed things, for ever »!

L’élève: « I don’t know… »

Le prof: « For example…control…or…your mind… »

L’élève: « … »

Le prof voyant l’élève ne rien noter lui demande: « You don’t take any notes? Will you remember everything I write on the board??? »

L’élève: « I type in Google when forget. »

5 minutes plus tard…

Le prof: « Can you remind me how to use to lose? »

L’élève: « Uuuhh I don’t know… »
Et ceci viens d’un type de 35 ans qui paye 47 euros les 40 minutes et qui me dit « I want improve speak English for business »…

Il y a des jours comme ça où on se dit « et si je me cassais de la salle pour voir »…

Some of you were worried. I’m doing great! I just didn’t have news interesting enough to tell you.

And as we say, no news is good news (most of the time).

Today, I have an awful news to tell you. It’s actually an awful review about a movie I just saw: the new Indiana Jones flick. Some of you might have already seen it but my anger is to big to be contained. I had to put it on my blog.

I came out of the theater depressed. It was good seeing one of my favorite charaters on screen again and some of the jokes were funny if you are a true fan of the series like myself. But the script is just terrible. After more than 15 years this is what Hollywood could come up with: take movies like « Mission to Mars », « Sign » and have Indy search for a lost piece of artefact and chased by Russian KGB. There, you have it. That’s the script. Oh and he has a son but nobody cares at this point.

So yes, you have aliens at the end and a spaceship. Who mixes Indiana Jones and science fiction? Spielberg does.

Do you remember when you first discovered that Santa Clause didn’t exist? How the whole myth just crumbled into pieces and made you sad? It was the same for me this time. The worst part is, it comes from the very same people who created the myth. Come on! Surely Mr. Spielberg, you can do better than this! I’m sure you’re going to come up with a lame excuse like « I just thought of it like an hommage to Sci-Fi movies that I loved so much over the past years, including mine. »

I love movies, but betraying people like this through this art is unforgivable.

I’ll write again soon!

Next stage? The Dark Knight!

The Love Guru trailer

Also here is another trailer from Pixar. It shows how these guys are geniuses.

WALL・E trailer

Schwing!

Voilà, alors j’ai décidé d’écrire certains de mes articles en anglais.

Un parce que j’ai envie et deux parce que j’aimerais avoir plus de fans

Ah oui, mon stupide clavier est en QWERTY, donc relou pour tapper en français.

Non, en fait tout ce que j’écris en français sont des choses dont je discute avec mes amis ici en anglais. Du coup je le partage avec vous en français of course!

En particulier j’aimerais partager mes revues de films dans la langue de Shakespeare.

Et donc voici le premier article! Avanti!

So here it is, my first movie review.

As you can see it in the title, that’s the movie I saw recently. I know, it’s a classic. I know, as a movie maniac how did I not watch this movie until last week. Well, to tell you the truth I did « try » to watch it several times. But I couldn’t get through it. I would fall asleep within minutes. Probably because of its beautiful soothing music (Blue Danube by Johann Strauss II, conducted by the great Herbert von Karajan) or maybe because of its slow pace. Believe me, in any case I truly tried to power through it but it was always stronger than me. My eyes would shut and I would sleep like a baby until morning.

There are several « great » (according to the rest of humanity) movies that I can’t finish. I should be ashamed… Among others there is Close Encounter Of The Third Kind by Steven Spielberg, Blade Runner by Ridley Scott (all 4 or 5 versions including the latest 2007 final cut) , The Shining another Stanley Kubrick flick and Ghost In The Shell a japanese animation by Mamoru Ishii. Oh I fell asleep through Titanic too but certainly for other reasons. After hearing it’s such a great movie so many times and Tom Hanks saying he saw it more than 30 times in theaters and discovers something new each time, I had to see it.

Anyway, at last, I was able to finish 2001: a space odyssey. First, I was amazed by the special effects. As a reminder, it was first released in 1968! Almost 10 years before Star Wars! Even before Lucas created ILM which is now the biggest company of SFX. In 2001: a space odyssey you can see a pen floating in space inside a spaceship. No strings, no green screens. But it seems to be gracefully dancing on Johann Stauss’ waltz. A flight attendant picks it up in mid space. She actually literally « picks it up ». Kubrick struggled for a long time to get the right effect. He finally came up with the idea of sticking the pen on a big piece of glass and moving the whole thing around. It’s so simple and yet so smart. I love it. It might cost 2 dollars to do that now. As one my favorite director Robert Rodriguez says: « too much money creates a limitation in creativity ». The less money you have the more you push yourself to be creative to come up with a great idea. Nowadays, it’s all CG effects everywhere. I don’t mind if it’s greatly done with mad skills and for a purpose such as in Michael Bay’s Transformers. But when it comes to things that can be avoided such as raw hand to hand combat action scenes, no CG is required. That’s why movies like the Bourne series are so great. CG actually strips all the thrill and danger away because you KNOW it’s not real. Another director said « to CG » is not a verb. You hear stuff like « let’s CG it » too often these days.

Back to 2001.

Well, it was intriguing, hypnotic, creepy, scary and finally strange and completely incomprehensible. It takes you through time and space. The journey takes you to the historical, the science-fictional, the technological, the philosophical, the metaphysical, the insane and back. I think it was meant to be that way. Perhaps it was Kubrick’s demonstration of his mad genious and technique as a director, or perhaps he did have a clear idea in mind and had a message to deliver us. Whatever the reason, it was an interesting experience, not movie, experience. Because that’s what it is. You can’t sum up the movie. It’s impossible. If anyone attempts to, it will end up becoming a boring, grotesque caricature. Unless you’ve seen it, you can’t talk about it. You can certainly talk about pieces of it. It’s like Picasso’s Guernica. If you look at the whole painting, you see chaos and disorder. But if you look closely, it was constructed carefully (or was Picasso really schizophrenic and saw the world as distorted as his paintings?). So I could tell you about HAL the super A.I. that controls the spaceship and how the crew tries to shut « him » down because of « his » malfunction or about the terrible human sacrifice that a member of the crew has to make in order to survive and shut down HAL (just like in War Of The Worlds by Steven Spielberg, where Tom Cruise’s character has to kill a man in order to protect his daughter’s innocence), but all of this would be a futile attempt to explain this movie. So, I won’t try to convince anyone who hasn’t seen it or try to start a debate about it. Just take the movie the way it is and watch it over and over again and see whatever your eyes let you see and your mind lets you « understand ». You have to see it for yourself. I’m interested in what people thought about it. I think now I’m ready to watch the other movies I mentioned above.

« For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible. » ~ Anonymous

Oh, by the way, the name HAL incremented becomes IBM but that’s only pure coincidence. Arthur C. Clark never intended it that way. If he had known he would have changed it in a blink. It’s like an urban legend basically.

Vous avez des problèmes au boulot? Moi oui. Pas le travail ou les collègues, non. Plutôt d’ordre nasale. Enfin pas tous les jours non plus. Je m’explique.

On a un élève qui vient tous les samedis. Il prend 5 à 6 leçons par jour et… Comment dire… Il sent mauvais.

Ca arrive, des mecs qui ne sont pas des maniaques de l’hygiène. Mais là… c’est l’horreur. J’ai mis un pied dans la classe et j’ai failli vomir mon 4 heure. Du coup j’ai pensé par la suite ce qui adviendrait si un autre élève devait utiliser la même classe après. On aura sûrement des plaintes non seulement des clients mais aussi des profs (et moi en premier). On devrait avoir le droit de refuser ce genre de client. On n’y pense pas comme ça mais l’élève fait aussi parti de notre environnement de travail. Les clients exigent des profs bien sapés et propres? Nous on veut des élèves propres (et qui veulent apprendre l’anglais)! C’est intolérable.

Du coup je l’ai dit à mon patron en le suppliant de plus me le refourguer.

Alors on va jouer à un petit jeu. Comme les Oscars vous allez voter. Parmi les expressions suivantes décrivant cette odeur, laquelle est la plus percutante/convaincante, drôle, bof, originale, horrible, historique, visuelle, auditive, intelligente, internationale, etc. A vous de choisir les catégories (vous pouvez évidemment en rajouter).

1. Il pue.
2. Si l’Enfer a une odeur ça doit sentir comme lui!
3. L’Enfer c’est pas les autres mais lui.
4. Au moins en Enfer tout brûle, même les microbes.
5. Je connais des clochards près de chez moi en France qui sentent moins fort que lui!
6. Je suis sûr que même Louis XIV ne sentait pas aussi mauvais!
7. Prouuut! Euuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!
8. Il a été élevé au Munster et à l’Epoisse ou quoi?
9. C’est le Retour des Mort-vivants et les cadavres dans Seven.
10. The Grinch!
11. La prochaine fois, je met un masque imbibé de lavande.
12. J’ai ouvert les fenêtres même s’il faisait -5° en disant « Je viens de l’Alaska. Le froid moi? J’en suis né! ».
13. Il doit encore croire qu’on est au XIIième siècle et encore on est au Japon. Les Samouraïs étaient propres eux!
14. J’ai eu peur pour ma santé…
15. Ca me donne la nausée rien qu’en y pensant.
16. Imagine la pire odeur que tu ais senti dans ta vie. Maintenant, rajoute tous les trucs fermenté plus l’odeur du moisi et là peut être que tu comprendras la moitié de ce que j’ai enduré dans la classe .
17. Personne ne lui dit rien?
18. Ca sentait tellement mauvais que ça me piquait les yeux.
19. Il doit vivre dans les égoûts ce mec.
20. J’ai mis le filtre à air à fond la caisse. Rien. Comme les petits scooters qui fond plein de bruit et qui avancent à 2 à l’heure.
21. J’ai vomi direct.
22. J’ai fait un pêt silencieux en classe. Il a rien remarqué ni senti.
23. J’ai pris 3 douches en rentrant.
24. Il a mis de l’Agua Sauvagio de chez Giordano Smellini.
25. Il pourrait battre Wolverine des X-Mens, « haut-les-bras ».
26. Au lieu de lui enseigner l’anglais je lui ai apris à se servir d’une douche et du savon.
27. « DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH? SHOWER IS GOOD FOR YOU! »
28. « Oui oui, Will Smith s’en sert pour se protéger des zombies dans I AM LEGEND. Toi tu fais comme tout le monde tu met de l’eau dedans et tu te laves! »

Voilà, j’en ai d’autres mais je pense que ça suffit. A vous!    

Comment je le sais? Et bien au Japon on a un vent fort et glacial qui arrive au mois de février. Et c’était aujourd’hui!

On l’appelle le « Haru-ichiban ». Le premier vent de printemps en somme. Donc vive Spring! Mais fait froid quand même…

J’ai voulu prendre une photo du vent mais c’est super difficile.

Tenez, sinon une autre bande-annonce!

Iron Man trailer

« Yeah, I can fly… »